to be a mother is to be blamed for shit you did and LOTS of shit you didn’t do because you are there and it is convenient

it also is to be appreciated by the ones who are able to see that you are just a person, not a god

you are not all knowing nor are you all powerful nor are you all loving

I pray you will live long enough for your children to mature enough to see that

in the meantime, it is a very rough road


It’s Finally Over

This isn’t happy. If you need hope look elsewhere.

My kids are grown. They are largely estranged from eachother.

The two youngest have eachother. The oldest has us for now but no sibling support. The middle has her own family.

I would say be really careful while you are desperately trying to keep the abused child/children alive you run a tremendous risk of inadvertently neglecting the other siblings. They may seem fine but I guarantee that they are matter what brave front they put make extra efforts with the siblings.

It’s all over. It is what it is and I will NEVER have the family I hoped for or that they hoped for.

They are alive but damaged and lonely and bitter.

It is really sad.

Scorched Earth

When someone sexually abuses your children, they declare a scorched earth policy on your soul.   Your inner man finds no comfort and only exists in an empty charred wasteland that burns like hell.   They say that after forest fires, the soil is very rich and new life comes forth, but first everything appears as dead.